Top 3 Music Lesson Regrets... and How to Avoid Them

In our experience teaching, we’ve had many parents and adult students share their music lesson stories. Some make you laugh; others bring you close to tears. Regardless, there’s a sense of loss that we know could have been avoided. What are the most common ones, and how can you keep them from being your child’s story decades from now? 

-“I was forced to play the wrong instrument”

Some have shared that their parents made them take lessons in an instrument they hated. I’ve even heard stories of forced accordion lessons! While we laugh about it now, they also wondered why they had to endure being put into lessons that they knew they would never enjoy. Now, decades later, they’ve come back to take lessons in the instrument they love.

Solution: Keep the lines of communication open. You may have wished you could have taken piano growing up. Or, you may want your kids to grow up learning the fundamentals of piano as we did.  Please don’t let your regrets or desires alone decide what lessons you put your child in. You may love piano, but your 5-year-old may have been drawn to drums since he was old enough to bang on pots and pans. Recognizing and cultivating their unique interests allows for an enjoyable experience, and will keep the door open to learning other instruments down the road.

- “I quit too soon”

This is by far one of the most common stories we hear. They were taking lessons and decided to quit. It either got boring, too hard, or some combination of the two. They told their parents they were done, and the parents pulled them with no questions asked.

Solution: This one is difficult. You don’t want to force them to the point they resent you, but you also want to be sure you can teach them about persevering through difficulties. Again, communication is key. Ask them why they want to drop lessons. Maybe they’re not excited about the instrument and need to try a different one. Maybe they’re getting bored with current songs, but they’d be motivated with Imagine Dragons. A break might actually be necessary, but don’t act too quickly and let them drop before getting to the root cause.

- “I never learned to play an instrument”

Lastly, many adults tell us they always wished they could have learned an instrument, but never did. Maybe they had instruments in the house that looked nice, but were never played. Maybe they tried teaching themselves and gave up. These stories can be heartbreaking.

Solution: You might not be too interested in music, but you see that your child gravitates to it. They may love listening to the radio and sing along to their favorite songs. They may jump on the house piano and plink around without being told. If you notice these things, don’t ignore the possibility that they could enjoy learning an instrument. Worst case scenario they end up being exposed to music enough to know they’re not interested.

Hopefully, this list gives you a bit more insight into giving your child an amazing experience with music lessons that they can look back on with fondness rather than regretting the “what if’s”.